Jaeger

Today was a pretty abnormal because it started off normal, got progressively more shitty and then suddenly at around 6:30 PM became really good. 

I did a lot of informative reading and pondering today. It seems like when I read and ponder, I can better formulate my thoughts. So since I haven't written a blog in awhile,  I figured now would be a really good time to get some stuff down more permanently so I can reference it later for more pondering. 

I did some reading on the effects of marijuana as a health supplement and medicine. The findings are truly incredible. Receptors in the human body that work directly with the chemicals found in the cannabis plant. It's ability to stop cancer cells. It's use in pain relief and stress relief. I find it frustrating though because here is this substance that clearly has a ton of beneficial uses but it's completely illegal. Not that I would want to start smoking but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious about the oil or edible goods. 

I found a post on Reddit about some projects beginning engineers could do to learn some basic principles of Engineering. Most of the stuff I really want to try. Stuff like building a circuit board, a gas powered rc car,an autonomous ball shooting robot and a remote controlled drone/plane. 

I was thinking about the way I learn today. I am very visual and hands on for sure, but I need input and interaction with my peers. I need this interaction to discuss and bounce ideas around about a topic. This is how I truly learn best. (as long as they are focused and not easily distracted like me) If I have some one to interact with that is when I do the best work. The interaction helps me filter ideas, reinforce concepts and answer questions. My Math class completely lacks this aspect all together. So not only do I feel at a disadvantage because the Professor is inept at teaching but I feel like I have no one to even share with. 

Have I mentioned how much I loved Power Rangers as a kid and How much I love Pacific Rim now? 

So here is a picture of the Megazord and Dragonzord as Jaegers I found on the interwebs

It's Not All Bad

So I completely bombed the Algebra test.I got a 33%. I also have a really full plate of other school work. However I am not stressed or worried at all. I've actually been having a really good and productive week. I am working on setting goals, writing them down and then checking them off as I accomplish them. I have been making studying a priority and with the help of my Honeybee I have been able to get a lot of my school work finished. We went to the library tonight. We rented one of the quiet study rooms which was a major improvement from the circus I live and normally study in. The last couple of days I've really been thinking about what are some things I can teach myself that will help me later in my study of engineering. I feel like I have always had an interest in Science and with making or building things, but I feel like I didn't learn or participate in those types of activities as much as other kids. I feel like a lot of younger kids already know how to solder or construct a circuit, stuff like that. YouTube videos really enforce my feelings. I can't help but to think these kids already have a better start then I do or that they will be more successful at this then me because they already have so much experience. Am I wrong? Can I catch up? I feel like they have already earned their first badge and I'm still in Pallet Town trying to figure out how to convince Gary's sister to give me a damn map. I'm gonna keep pushing to do better!! 

Awesometotes (Asymptotes)

   So far I haven't needed to seek help with any of my Algebra homework for my past semesters, but this semester I managed to get a vegetable as a teacher. YouTube is a God send! I am really utilizing YouTube to supplement a large part of my learning. Thankfully! I always find videos from much better Professors who actually know how to concisely explain the steps to solving the problems. When I understand something, when it all comes together, it makes me feel really happy and successful.


I actually had a pretty awesome day! Yo my name is Joe...

Didn't Einstein Make Meth?

Today went by really quick for me, which has pros and cons. Pro: Work went reasonably quick. Con: so did the rest of my time. Now it is 10 o'clock at night. Time for bed so I can wake up and start the bull crap all over again tomorrow. This same old routine, where I wake up at the crack of dawn, to go do a job I hate with a passion. I know people do stuff all the time they hate but why do they do it? I don't want to do something I hate that makes me miserable. I keep telling myself only a couple more weeks then I can say screw this I'm out of here I'm gonna try my hand at something that doesn't make me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I need something where I can make money from home but doesn't require all my energy and so much of my time. Or is that asking too much? Everyone wants that right? Am I just being a big baby? Maybe I should learn to make meth...

Not So Mindless Monday

Monday is usually awful for me. Having to wake up at 6 AM after the weekend, then going to work, where I work myself to exhaustion. It is one of the worst things I can ever imagine. My job is physical and mindless, most days go by so painfully slow because I spend the whole day repeating a physical task for hours. I try to think but if I get too distracted I could hurt myself. So today I called out sick and instead did something I decided was more valuable to me in the long run. I spent my day learning! I watched videos on Youtube about concepts i was learning in Algebra/Pre-Calc. Then I found some videos of some truly inspiring young people most younger then 14 who have already began to achieve what I want for myself in the near future.

Jacob Barnett
Forget What You Know

Tanishq Abraham
THNKR Child Prodigy

Why Do I Waste So Much of My Precious Time?

   I do not know,what is going to be contained in this blog yet, but I do know I am going to journal in it sometimes. In writing journals I already face a bit of a conundrum. The main reason I want to journal is because I feel stressed. I am stressed because I am a self diagnosed procrastiholic with a case of ADD. To make things worse I have little to no self motivation, I am horrible at keeping promises that I make to myself and I always feel like there is not enough time in a day to get stuff done or to accomplish my goals. So what do I decide to do about it?Waste more time by writing a journal! I figure that getting some of my feelings and thoughts out on digital paper may help me to get on better track with my life.

Who am I? I have always felt a primal attraction to intelligence and the competitive need to be the best. I know however I am not the smartest and that there will always be someone smarter. This does not stop me from wanting to be the brightest most intelligent person I can be. This is where the problem arises for me, I can't seem to make myself do what needs to be done, specifically study. I want so badly to be the best me, I can be and I know I can. My only road block is myself, and that seems like it is insurmountable. How do I overcome myself? How do I turn off all my distraction and thoughts so I can learn to better myself, so I can better myself? I feel frustrated and hopeless.This isn't even all of my problems, but those are topics for another journal. I will push on, keep trying and document my progress.

Days like today I feel hopeless like I'm drowning. My expectations I place on myself are to much to handle but I need to be better because right now I am capable of nothing.

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein